Real Power Is Knowing When to Pull Back

As a woman of colour with leadership aspirations, I've always known I had to work twice as hard to stay visible and credible. I was used to the careful looks, the fewer chances, the subtle pushes to prove myself over and over. Somehow, I kept moving forward without letting it break my stride—or my spirit.

When Fighting Back Felt Like Fighting Myself

But then I joined a team where—for the first time—I felt completely shut out.

It started small. A few colleagues began circling a major project I was leading. They smiled in meetings, but behind the scenes, they were slowly pushing me out:

→ Leaving me off important emails
→ Going straight to my team instead of me
→ Holding meetings about my team’s work without me

My chest tightened. I braced for battle.

I thought the only way to hold my ground was to push back. So I got colder. More guarded. Ready to defend myself at every turn.

But fighting them meant I was losing myself. The job I once loved felt heavy. My joy was disappearing. I was becoming someone I didn't recognize—and it wasn't working anyway.

Letting Go—Without Giving Up

Frustrated and exhausted, I turned to a mentor. Their advice shocked me: 

"Let them go."

Not my work. Not my role. Them—the people trying to squeeze me out.

At first, this felt like giving up. Like letting them win. But then they helped me see: letting go isn’t about weakness. It’s about reclaiming your power.

Choosing Where My Power Goes

I made my team’s wins visible. I kept my supervisor informed—not to vent, but to draw clear boundaries. I invested my energy in the work and people that mattered.

Some days, I still wanted to clap back. But I stayed focused on what I could control.

And you know what? I kept my portfolio, reputation and my peace. They didn't stay.

Your Energy Is Your Superpower

Here's what I learned: Letting go didn’t mean being passive. It meant being intentional.

As women of colour professionals, we need to be strategic about how we show up and where we place our power. Not every microaggression deserves a macro reaction. Not every battle is worth the cost.

Sometimes the boldest move isn’t pushing back—it’s pulling back, and choosing where our energy goes.

Stay grounded. Stay focused. Stay you.

That’s real power.

___________________________________________________________________

Want a career that actually fits YOU? Join the waitlist for my 10-week Leadership Accelerator Program: www.leadtochange.ca/career-clarity