Beyond the Brag Folder: Why You Need a Hard Things Folder

Everyone tells you to keep a brag folder: track your wins, document your accomplishments, save those glowing emails.

And yes, that matters. But if you’re a woman, especially a woman of colour, you know that list only tells part of your career story.

The real challenge isn’t lacking confidence. You know you’re qualified.

The challenge is navigating spaces that constantly chip away at it: being interrupted mid-sentence in meetings, watching your ideas get credited to someone else, being labeled “too aggressive” when others are called “decisive” for the same behavior.

In those moments, a list of accomplishments isn’t enough. You need proof that you’re unstoppable.

That’s why you need a Hard Things Folder.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending bias doesn’t exist. It’s about recognizing your resilience — the moments that don’t make it onto your résumé but reveal your strength, courage, and perseverance.

What Goes in Your Hard Things Folder

Your Hard Things Folder is more than a collection of tough moments — it’s a record of your growth. It holds the stories of when you showed up for yourself, even when it felt risky or uncomfortable.

It’s where you capture the times you:

• Spoke up in a meeting when silence felt safer.

• Set a boundary that protected your well-being.

• Kept going when you were underestimated or overlooked.

Every entry is evidence of your ability to lead through challenge — not by being unshakable, but by continuing anyway.

When self-doubt creeps in or you feel discouraged, revisit this folder. It will remind you of your courage, perspective, and persistence. It will ground you in the truth that you’ve already done hard things — and you can do them again.

Think of it as your resilience archive — a mirror that reflects not just what you’ve achieved, but who you’ve become along the way.

Key Categories to Track

If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few types of moments worth capturing:

1. Speaking Up
Times you voiced a difficult opinion or challenged the status quo.
Moments you influenced a decision despite pushback or skepticism.

2. Boundary Setting
Saying no to extra work that wasn’t yours to carry.
Negotiating resources, promotions, or fair workloads.

3. Navigating Bias & Microaggressions
Instances where you addressed or educated others about bias while maintaining professionalism.
Situations where you advocated for fairness even when it was uncomfortable.

4. Persistence
Projects or goals you delivered despite limited support, criticism, or setbacks.

5. Advocating for Others
Moments you supported or championed colleagues, especially those underrepresented or overlooked.

How to Start Yours

1. Pick your format.
Use whatever feels natural — a notes app, a document, or a journal. What matters is consistency, not perfection.

2. Capture it in the moment.
When you face something hard — a difficult conversation, a boundary held, a risk taken — take a few minutes to write it down. Note what happened, how you felt, and what you learned.

3. Include variety.
Not every entry needs to be a big moment. Include the quiet wins — the times you spoke up, asked for help, or gave yourself grace. They count, too.

4. Revisit regularly.
Open your folder when you’re discouraged or doubting yourself. Let it remind you of your strength and of how far you’ve already come.

Your Hard Things Folder isn’t just a record — it’s a reflection tool. It helps you see patterns, recognize growth, and identify what fuels your confidence and purpose. Over time, it becomes a personal playbook for resilience and self-trust.

Your Why This Matters

A brag folder tells the story of what you’ve accomplished.
A Hard Things Folder tells the story of who you are while accomplishing it.

It captures something that performance reviews and résumés can’t — your capacity to lead through uncertainty, bias, and change. It’s tangible evidence that you’ve built strength the hard way, by showing up even when the outcome wasn’t guaranteed.

Don’t just track your wins. Track what you’ve overcome.

Because confidence isn’t pretending bias doesn’t exist — it’s remembering who you are, despite it.

It’s one thing to list your wins.
It’s another to honour what it took to earn them.

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